When to send out / Including accommodation details on the invitation / Including deceased parent on invitations / Including groom?s parents on invitations when not contributing to cost of wedding

Q. When do I send out my invitations?

A. Invitations are sent out around 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Put an RSVP date about 3-4 weeks before the wedding on the invitation which will give you some time to send out a second round of invitations if some guests can't make it.

Q. We want to include on our invitations details about accomodation as we are holding our wedding out of town. We have approached several places which are willing to give discounts for group bookings. How would I begin to word this ?

A. Your invitation should just include details of your wedding ceremony and reception and shouldn't include other information such as accommodation. Put this information on a separate piece of paper and place that in the envelope along with the invitation and your gift registry card if you have one. The information sheet can complement your invitation if you use similar paper and type.

Q. My father has just passed away but has played a huge part in the wedding already (and is still paying for a big part of it!) What do we put on the invitation? My mum is here but it just does not seem right not to put his name on it. Also my fiancee's mother has passed away many years ago and his father has remarried but they are not contributing to the cost of the wedding. I am just not sure what the etiquette is.

A. The invitations are issued by the hosts of your wedding so traditionally a parent who has passed away is not included on the invitation. But, you don't always have to stick with tradition so put your father's name on the invitation if this is important to you. Particularly, as you say he has only recently passed away and was actively involved in your wedding preparations.

You may think it is appropriate to mention that he is deceased, to avoid confusion for your guests eg. Mr Peter Brown (deceased).

Traditionally you would only put the groom's parents names on the invitations if they were also hosting your wedding (ie. contributing to it financially). Again though, if you don't have to stick with tradition if you would prefer their names on the invitations.

During your wedding ceremony you may wish to have a reading in honour of your father as well. Maybe a favourite poem or some of the words to his favourite song. It would be a lovely oppourtunity to remember your father.