Toasts and speeches usually begin at the end of the reception dinner while coffee and cake is being served. It is important to choose a good speechmaker who is fluent and entertaining and, most importantly, one who will keep it brief.

The speechmaker should be someone you trust - someone who won't make you blush, or embarrass you with stories of past relationships you'd rather forget - someone who won't be long, boring and irrelevant.
A good speech is a truly memorable one - one that friends and relatives will refer to long after the wedding is over and happily retell. Some of your friends may have training in public speaking, others may have good writing skills and can craft a nice speech to read at the reception.

Choose someone with good delivery who won't be overcome with nerves and who can hold the attention of your guests for a maximum of five minutes.

Traditional order of speeches:

• Welcome by the MC
• Grace
• Entree is served
• MC or Bride's Father proposes Loyal Toast (only for very formal weddings)
• Main course is served
• Dessert and coffee is served
• MC introduces the speaker who will propose the toast to the Bride and Groom
• Toast to the Bride and Groom - by family friend or relative
• MC introduces the Groom (and Bride)
• Groom (and Bride) responds and toasts the bridesmaids
• MC introduces the best man
• Best man (and chief bridesmaid) responds
• MC introduces the speaker to toast the bride?s parents
• Toast to the parents of the bride by family friend or relative
• Response by bride's father
• Toast to the parents of the groom by bride's father, family friend or relative
• Response by groom's father
• MC asks if anyone else would like to speak
• Best man or chief bridesmaid reads messages
It is better to give a heartfelt speech than one that is funny for the sake of being funny.MC also introduces the:
• First dance
  
• Cutting of the cake
• Throwing of the garter.
  

If you want shorter speeches:


• MC introduces the speaker who will propose the toast to the Bride and Groom
• Toast to the Bride and Groom - by family friend or relative or best man
• MC introduces the Groom
• Groom responds and toasts the bridesmaids
• Best man responds and toast the parents of the bride
• MC introduces bride's father
• Bride's father responds and toasts parents of the groom
• Best man reads messages.
  

Best man's speech

The best man's speech is usually the funniest of all the wedding speeches but it is not the place to air the groom?s dirty linen or ridicule him in front of his bride. Many of the guests at the wedding will be the bridal couple's family who may be embarrassed if your speech is too X-rated. So keep it humorous and family orientated.

If you're not sure where to start, we suggest you:

• Start your speech with a quote, it can be a good ice breaker and will get the crowd on your side
• Thank the groom for asking you to be his best man
• Describe your relationship to the groom and bride as many of the guests may be unaware of this
• Tell an amusing tale about an interesting adventure you have had with the groom
• Relate an amusing story about how the newlyweds first met or a more recent event
• Thank the bride on behalf of the bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys and ring bearers
• Thank the hosts of the wedding on behalf of the guests
• Finish up with a message of congratulations and best wishes for their future to the bridal couple.
Your speech will be much better accepted by the bridal couple and the guests if you do not:
• Tell stories about the groom's ex-girlfriends
• Tell stories about any of the groom's bad habits
• Make rude jokes.

Groom's speech

The groom's speech is expected to be more serious than the best man?s speech, so it can be an easier speech to prepare. If you feel a little less nervous about giving your speech, remember that your wedding guests are your friends and family and they are all looking forward to hearing you speak. In your speech, you can:

• Thank the bride for marrying you
• Thank the bride's parents for the wedding and for the great job they have done in raising their daughter
• Thank your parents for all they have done for you
• Relate a humorous courtship tale
• Thank your best man and ushers
• Share your thoughts about your bride and your future together.
  

Bride's speech

More and more brides these days are getting up on their feet and saying a few words. Your speech can follow the guidelines for the groom?s speech.

Chief bridesmaid's speech

Just like the bride, more and more bridesmaids are also speaking at weddings. A bridesmaid's speech would be similar to the best man's speech. You are not expected to be as funny as the best man, but of course an amusing speech about the bride should go down well. You can finish off your speech by reading any messages not read by the best man.

Father of the bride's speech

The father of the bride responds to the toast to the bride's parents. Your response is on behalf of the bride's mother so don't forget to include her in your speech (for example say 'we' rather than 'I'). Your speech can include:

• A story about the bride in her childhood, about her growing up and something about her relationship with her family
• Something about the groom and how he has been welcomed into your family
• Finish up with a message of congratulations and best wishes for their future.
  

Grooms father?s speech

The groom's father's speech follows along the lines of the bride?s father's speech.

The Master of Ceremonies

The Master of Ceremonies introduces the speakers, the bridal waltz, the cutting of the cake and the tossing of the bouquet and garter. It is the MC who controls the flow of proceedings once the speeches start.

As the MC introduce yourself to the venue's co-ordinator to organise timing of the speeches, and to check that champagne for the toasts and items such as a cake knife are available. Also introduce yourself to the DJ or musicians to ensure the music for the bridal waltz is ready.

Plan your speeches to last around two minutes for the first one and then around one minute introducing each speaker. Unless you are an experienced speechmaker then you should be well prepared. Your speeches can be funny but remember nothing tasteless or embarrassing.

You may find it easier to introduce the speakers if you know a little about them. If possible, arrange to meet them before the wedding. If that is not possible, then introduce yourself to them at the beginning of the reception. Find out some interesting details about the speechmakers and the bride and groom, such as their interests, professions or achievements. Anecdotes are usually well received so speak to friends and family of the speechmakers and the bride and groom to learn something funny about their past. You can also include jokes or quotations if you think it is appropriate, in fact jokes and quotations can often be a very good way of opening your speech.

Relative or family friend's toasts of bridal couple's parents

The speeches to toast the parents' of the bride and groom should cover:

• A little about them
• How you know them
• How they have welcomed the bride or groom into their respective families
• The toast - "please raise your glasses to [first names of parents]".
  

Tips for great speeches

• Be prepared - start writing your speech at least three weeks before the big event.
• What would you like to say? - take some time to really think about what you would like to say about the person you are toasting - what are their achievements or personal aspirations or goals; how do they relate with friends and family; is there a special event in their lives that is worth a mention; what are your own feelings for that person; what are your wishes for the bridal couple's future?
• You don't have to be funny - it is better to give a heartfelt speech than one that is funny for the sake of being funny.
• Keep it short - a speech around 3 to 5 minutes is all you will need. If you wish to speak for longer then plan no more than 10 minutes maximum.
• Practice - read your speech out loud at least three times before the big night.
• Speak slowly and speak up - make sure that all your hard-written words can be heard and understood by all the audience. A number of rehearsals in a slow and clear voice will help give you confidence.
• Engage your audience - look up from your notes to the audience and the bridal couple as often as you can.
• Stay sober - don't drink too much before your speech.